


idealism sits in prison

by starstrung



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-08
Updated: 2015-09-08
Packaged: 2018-04-19 19:32:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4758230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starstrung/pseuds/starstrung
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Josephine remembers what kind of person Leliana truly is, even if Leliana does not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	idealism sits in prison

Josephine sighs into the darkness and sits up, pushing away the bedclothes. She lights a candle, squinting against the sudden light, and shuffles to the door.

“I can hear you pacing, Leliana,” she says, opening it.

Leliana does not bother with apology and brushes past her into the room. Josephine tries not to yawn as she watches Leliana inspect her fireplace.

“Leliana, it will be fine,” Josephine says.

“I might have believed that _before_ you almost got yourself assassinated by the House of Repose.”

“Are you… angry with me?” Josephine asks.

“Of course not,” Leliana snaps, and Josephine recoils a little. Leliana immediately looks apologetic.

“It happened on _my_ watch. _I_ was supposed to keep you safe. It was _my_ responsibility,” Leliana says, a note of desperation running high in her voice.

Josephine puts her hands on her shoulders and turns Leliana away from the fireplace. “I am not Justinia,”

Leliana stiffens, and then sighs. “I know,” she says, barely a whisper. “I suppose I grow tired of the people close to me having their lives threatened.”

“You have done all you can do,” Josephine tells her, suddenly exhausted. “If it makes you feel better, you can spend the night here.”

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea, Josie,” Leliana says.

“Who better to protect me than Lady Nightingale herself?”

Leliana’s lips turn in a weary smile. “You do always resort to flattery to get what you want, don’t you?” She says it almost with pride.

“Come,” Josephine says, and something in her sings with victory when Leliana lets herself be pulled to the bed.

Josephine’s room is small. When it came time to assign quarters, she had purposefully reserved the largest rooms for the dignitaries and nobles. Her room is enough for a bed, a desk, and a small closet. But it overlooks the garden, and in the day the scent of embrium and felandaris fills the room, and at night, the sound of the sisters singing the Chant of Light lulls her to sleep.

Leliana removes her boots and her coat and they fold together on the narrow bed.

“You don’t have to worry,” Josephine says softly. “I will always be here.”

Leliana pulls her close, and says nothing else.

-

Skyhold welcomes back the Inquisitor and his companions with a cheer. News of their success at Halamshiral has long reached their people thanks to Leliana’s clever ravens. Lavellan raises a hand in acknowledgement and smiles, but Josephine can tell that the events of the Winter Palace weigh heavily on him.

“The number of innocents killed was staggering,” Josephine says to Leliana later. They are in the middle of going through reports of the aftermath from their scouts and diplomats, making sure that all loose ends have been tied.

From the window, Josephine sees that Lavellan has traded his traveling cloak for work clothes, and is helping a team of the builders renovating Skyhold to clear away rubble. He works with quiet determination, and Josephine can tell that it’s a way for him to keep his thoughts away from what he has just seen. She only wishes she could have that same luxury.

Her mind keeps returning to it. Servants killed in their beds as they slept, cut down as they tried to run to safety, betrayed by their masters without a second thought. Josephine can no longer be as dazzled by the Game as she could when she was younger, now knowing firsthand the lives that it can cost.

“Once we stop Corypheus, their deaths will mean something,” Leliana says absently, her eyes glancing over a report.

Josephine thinks this is the wrong way around. “Their deaths already mean something. That is why we must stop Corypheus.”

Leliana sighs, and does not argue. Josephine almost wishes she would. She can feel the frustration of it burning at the back of her throat, the feeling old and familiar and still as uncomfortable as ever. She has had enough shouting matches with Leliana to know that it does no good, but still she feels like shouting.

She tries for a lighter subject. “It felt like we were young girls again, did it not? At the Winter Palace,” Josephine says, because even if she had spent the evening trying to outmaneuver an enemy she could not see, straining her eyes to catch the assassin in the crowd, there had still been a part of her that was eager to fall into the unchanging rhythm of Orlesian politics.

Leliana looks up from her report at last, eyes glittering. “Oh, yes. It was all just as I remember. So little of the Game has changed since then.”

“You almost sound disappointed,” Josephine says. They have, both of them, given up the pretense of working. They put their reports down and lean against the table, looking out at the courtyard below.

“To me, the Game felt like trifles,” Leliana confesses. “After all the work we’ve been doing?” she says, and sweeps a hand over the war table, the map of Thedas laid out, markers set up painstakingly across it, each signifying a piece of the Inquisition’s ever-growing influence.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say a word against the Game,” Josephine says, surprised.

Leliana laughs, leaning back a little and looking up at the ceiling. Her hood falls back, baring her head. Josephine’s breath catches a little at the way sunlight bounces off her red hair. “I suppose it’s because I’m a different person than I was. I know so much more.”

 _And you trust so much less_ , Josephine thinks.

“It is a shame that in all the commotion, there was no time to dance,” Josephine says, nudging Leliana with her shoulder.

“I thought about it,” Leliana said. “It is always a good opportunity to find out the truth behind someone’s lies. In the end though, I thought it would be too much of a distraction from the rest of the ball.”

Josephine nods, but does not say anything more. She knows too well that Leliana will read everything she wants to from her expression.

“Oh,” Leliana says softly, after a while. “You wanted _us_ to dance together.”

Josephine hides a smile. Leliana so often chastises Josephine for how easily she gives away what she is feeling. But Josephine has never wanted to hide her feelings from Leliana, of all people.

“It would have been enjoyable,” Josephine says, remembering with pleasure the last time they danced. It seems like an age has passed since then. “Something tells me we will not be getting any more balls in the months to come.”

Leliana laughs a little. “I think you might be right about that,” she says. “And about the servants as well.”

“The servants?” Josephine asks, thrown by the change in topic.

“Their deaths did matter. I _know_ that. I didn’t mean what I said before. Not like that,” Leliana says, and Josephine hears the distress in her voice.

“I know you didn’t,” Josephine says, and it is too easy to bring her hand to Leliana’s cheek and press their foreheads together. “I know it is difficult to see their lives as anything more than a number sometimes.”

Leliana has her eyes closed, her eyelashes drawing shadows across her cheeks. “I don’t know how you do it, Josie. Care so much. All the time. I wonder sometimes how you get any work done.”

“It does take some effort,” Josephine says. “In the end, I have to remind myself that I cannot change what has already happened.” She strokes a hand through Leliana’s hair.

Leliana hums, leaning into the touch. “You make it sound so easy. Compared to you, it is no wonder everyone sees me as monstrous.”

Josephine pulls away. “Don’t say that,” she says, angrily. But at the same time, she knows how many of the Inquisition see Leliana, and she knows that Leliana hears the comments just as she does. It had never occurred to her that Leliana would be bothered by it, or she would have made a greater effort to contest them. She immediately plans out how she will boost Leliana’s image in the eyes of the Inquisition.

“I can see you plotting,” Leliana says, amusement coloring her voice.

“If they only knew you like I do,” Josephine says, shaking her head.

“I don’t think I want anyone else but you to know me quite that well.” The way Leliana says it is enough to turn Josephine’s cheeks warm.

“I… see your point,” Josephine says.

She lets Leliana draw them close again, and this time, their lips meet in a kiss that is soft and inviting. It feels forbidden to do this here, in the war room. Josephine thinks of the reports they should be reading, but it is so much easier to open her mouth and let Leliana in. Leliana curls a hand around the small of her back, and Josephine makes a noise that is both breathless and embarrassing.

Leliana pulls away, smiling a little. Then her eyes flick to the door, as if she has heard something.

“It’s good to hear that Duchess Florianne has no lingering support within the Imperial Court,” Leliana says loudly, and Josephine has only a few seconds to blink at her in confusion before the door opens and Cullen walks into the room.

“Oh, good, you’re going over the reports,” Cullen says. “I wanted to confirm the guard arrangements with you.”

Leliana picks up a report, looking for as if she has been reading them all this time.

“Yes, of course,” Josephine says. Her voice has gone hoarse, and she has to clear her throat a few times. The report that Leliana is holding hides the lower half of her face, but Josephine can still tell that she is grinning. Josephine feels indignant and out-of-sorts and stupidly happy.

Her face still feels flushed, and she is sure Cullen would be able to tell what they have been doing with a single look. Thankfully, he doesn’t seem to be paying attention.

She would have made a truly dreadful bard.


End file.
